The story goes that the postman knocked on the door to deliver a letter to its recipient. After the man read the contents of the letter, he flew into a rage and began to lash out, hurling curses and insults at his wife.
The poor wife, who did not know whether the message was informing her husband of his dismissal from his job in which he had not mastered a single skill, reacted by beating her son, who in turn vented his anger on his sister, who had kicked the weak cat with her foot.
This is how the contagion of physical, verbal, and behavioral violence is transmitted, so that the strong person vents his unconscious complexes in the face of any weak being who happens to be in front of him.
By nature, man is a being who needs to express his inclinations, thoughts and feelings, whether through gestures, facial expressions and eye movements, vocal murmurs, or language and writing… It is the journey of human civilization, full of beauty and burdened with ugliness alike.
On the one hand, societies of all kinds have witnessed a process of acculturation and cross-fertilization that almost made the Earth a bright and harmonious planet. However, man is inherently selfish, greedy, and possessive of everything for his own benefit, including the freedom to express opinions and positions at all levels.
At the dawn of the third millennium, many—myself included—believed that the 21st century would transcend ideological and religious fanaticism, ushering in a new renaissance for humanity: in science, technology, philosophy, literature, and art. We imagined that bridges of communication between countries, peoples, and governments had been firmly established, and that this would foster harmony, peace, tolerance, and acceptance of others, regardless of nationality, gender, race, creed, or partisan and political affiliation.
However, disappointment was lurking behind the doors, as economic and financial greed had overthrown the system of moral values, and violence had reached a level of severity that would terrify mountains – we do not forget the invasion of Iraq in 2003, nor the situation in Syria under the worst tyrannical and bloody dictatorship that history has witnessed, nor the brutal Israeli aggression against Gaza, or the massacres and atrocities committed in Sudan.
As for Lebanon, it has suffered all kinds of calamities, crises, wars and bombings, the latest of which was the Beirut port explosion on August 4, 2020, not to mention the series of assassinations that targeted major Lebanese intellectual and political figures, only to be afflicted now by a devastating Israeli war with no clear horizon on how it will end.
As usual, the gap widened between the parties, factions, and sects in a small, resource-poor country with weak government institutions, exhausted by a corrupt ruling system that looted people’s deposits in banks, seized control of the state’s joints, and monopolized the spoils and interests, so that the abject subservience to the sect leader and the party leader became the norm, while resorting to the constitution and the legislative, executive, and judicial authorities became the exception.
So, in Lebanon, despite the remarkable immersion of the Lebanese citizen in keeping pace with technological and communicative progress, we are appalled by what we see of national disintegration and a violent, top-down political discourse. Consequently, there is no escaping the need to raise a psycho-sociological problem: Is it still possible to establish a national political discourse that unites the Lebanese?
Realistically speaking, the answer is no. Achieving this goal is impossible. But why? Because we lack the familial, school, scouting, university, and political tools necessary for accomplishing such a task. It suffices to observe how one person marginalizes another within the same family, transforming rich diversity into conflict. Even within the same classroom, the neighborhood, the market, the pharmacy, and the university, Lebanese people fight over the most trivial matters: “I’m right, you’re wrong.” Instead of logical debate, insults and slander prevail.
According to the Shafi’i school of thought, swearing invalidates ablution. Whoever utters obscene and vulgar words must renew their ablution. Jesus Christ said, “It is not what goes into the mouth that is unclean, but what comes out of the mouth that makes it unclean.” In Freud’s theory of psychoanalysis, swearing is a defense mechanism for releasing repressed anger, tension, and obsessions, such as the obsession with defeat, anxiety about frustration, and marginalization. Avoid sessions that require intellectual discussion and deep thinking.
When a person is in a state of weakness, frailty, and deficiency, he will resort to insulting language to avoid the truth, refusing to acknowledge his defeat, shouting in a reproachful, satirical tone, thereby stripping the other party of any noble human value and depriving him of the right to defend himself in terms of position and belief.
He deprives his partners in society and the nation of any opportunity to express their dissatisfaction with the current situation: they are our enemies… full stop.
This is in addition to Fager’s use of vocal cords, his hollow, booming accent, and his quick, foolish hand gestures.
Some abusers enjoy sending pornographic images and sexual innuendos with the aim of undermining the dignity of the recipient and belittling their social and professional standing. The sender sees no harm in violating bodily dignity and fabricating suspicious events related to honor, preserving dignity, and personal sanctity.
How did a person with such poor behavior, speech, and dealings with others come to be? Let’s go back to the story above… Verbal violence is contagious, and it is primarily acquired through family upbringing. The one who threatens you with the most obscene phrases and calls you the filthiest names on social media, don’t forget that in his childhood he suffered what you are suffering from him.
Poor fellow, he unknowingly learned vile words that make one’s skin crawl and one’s soul recoil. Perhaps we can’t blame him, for he didn’t acquire refined language from his parents to use even when addressing his adversaries, or perhaps he was raised by a father with a patriarchal background, granting him the right to monopolize both quantity and quality. He can attack, strike, and assault; he might threaten you with a silencer, and there’s a high probability he’ll carry out the order, especially if he’s certain of the complete absence of the judicial system.
I remember one student coming to me once to confide in me about her suffering at the hands of her mother. From her account, I deduced that her mother was under the influence of her father’s aggression: he humiliated her in front of her children, threatened her with divorce whenever he pleased, and deprived her of her allowance. Subconsciously, the mother internalized the father’s behavior and identified with it, thus instilling her pain and toxic feelings in her daughters, and causing them to avoid boys who relied on their father’s influence and patriarchal authority.
Yesterday, this very student, whom I supported morally and emotionally as if she were one of my own daughters, sneaked into my Facebook page and insulted me and called me a spy!
I sometimes wonder, given that places of worship are widespread wherever we go in Lebanon, and given that manifestations of religious commitment are rampant as far as the eye can see, where do these social vices come from? What is the secret of the moral decline we are suffering from? Religious figures have exploited the pulpits to incite and spread discord, and to call for clinging to the superficial aspects of religion, while neglecting to preach good conduct, good neighborliness, and civilized civic sense.
We rarely hear a sheikh explain to people the true meaning of enjoining good and forbidding evil, strengthening good social relations among people, guiding political action and combating corruption, in service of the public interest.
Unfortunately, religious figures tend to flatter the ruling regime and praise its illusory “achievements,” hoping for some gain here or influence there. The corrupt religious figure himself is unaware that he represents, in the minds of young people, a symbolic—not biological—father figure with whom they identify and by whom they are influenced. This explains the unbridled moral, behavioral, and verbal restraint of the younger generation towards their opponents, even if those opponents are older and have more life experience.
At the school and university level, we know that every party and sect in Lebanon has its own educational institutions. Therefore, it is a given for them to indoctrinate the minds of pupils and students according to their whims, thus producing into the core of our society minds that are “crooked” – to use Ziad Rahbani’s expression – and empty, lacking the minimum level of conversational competence, persuasive style, and ability to exchange ideas and experiences.
These mummified minds, obsessed with excess power and weapons, and obsessed with “manliness,” shouting, and cursing, are the plague that has destroyed Arab society in general, and Lebanese society in particular (our ancestors used to say that the Mir’s dog is Mir).
It is impossible to rebuild our society amidst sick, supremacist mentalities. What we encounter on social media platforms are terrifying cases of users suffering from paranoia, suspicion, and persecution.
And how vicious the oppressed becomes when they become oppressors: they project their own shortcomings, flaws, and complexes onto others. They are the agent, yet they believe they have the right to accuse others of being agents. They are the traitor, yet they betray us. They are the fool, yet they try to make us fools.
Do we have a media outlet through which we can express a straightforward, honest, and counter-narrative to those who insult us? No.
So why don’t we inquire and investigate? Should we respond to them with an eye for an eye, injustice for injustice? This is not how we were raised, nor is it how we have earned our position. Are our personal posts on social media enough? Why don’t we establish collective platforms that strengthen and encourage us, and give us the confidence and resilience to continue our journey towards building a state of law, institutions, and justice? Why don’t we search all regions for cafes where we can meet to discuss our political, social, and economic proposals? I see no obstacle preventing us from achieving this goal.
We can even invite those who object to our ideas, so that they may gradually abandon their hateful rhetoric and discover that we are simple, poor people who are not paid or dollar-dealing like their leader! And perhaps we can teach them the meaning of nation-building through sophisticated discourse, noble expression, and the humanity of diversity.
Ali ibn Abi Talib said: “The custom of the ignoble is to speak foully.” Peace be upon you.